Buckle in, friends. I’m about to get real with you. As I begin this post, I will admit that I feel like something in me is broken. If you are a follower of this blog, this might come as a shock to you. I do my absolute best to project a “brand” of positivity and joy on this blog. I rarely delve into negative topics and, when I do, it’s usually because I have discovered some solution that will help people.
The truth is, though…we don’t always have answers. Sometimes things really just suck. And, as much as I wholeheartedly believe that we have the power to choose our thoughts and emotions (we absolutely do), I also understand that sometimes the weight of the emotions and thoughts are too much for us simple humans to handle on our own. Why don’t I more often admit to the darker side of things? Because I believe in the Law of Attraction. This statement is big, y’all. I have never used these words on this blog. Why?
Truth: I was afraid to “out” myself as one of those “hippy dippy woo woo New Age chicks” because I worried no one would take me seriously. I have a lot of conservative friends and family and I didn’t want to deal with their judgment or shaming. And I really didn’t want to discover all the so-called “friends” in my life that, when they found out the truth, would henceforth give me the look. You know the look. The I’m-concerned-about-you-because-you-appear-to-have-gone-over-the-deep-end look. The one that says, “Come back to earth and reality with the rest of us miserable people that have accepted that life is shit and nothing is going to change and everything always has to stay the way it’s always been. It’s just the way it is. This is the way the real world works. The sooner you accept it, the sooner you will…” I don’t know what the ending to that sentence is and, frankly, I don’t want to think about it and create that reality. Because it’s not for me! As one of my gurus, Amanda Frances, would say, “I’m not available for average. I’m not available for boring.” My paraphrase of that sentiment goes like this: I’m not available for the small life prescribed by our society. I want more. And I will have more. I will create more.
I’m not going to explain the Law of Attraction to you in this blog. There are thousands of resources out there and, perhaps in the future, I will dedicate more time to it on this blog. A good starter text is Jen Sincero’s You Are A Badass. Explaining the Law of Attraction isn’t the point of this post. I will tell you that a central tenet of the Law of Attraction is: what you think about and how you feel will, ultimately, manifest as reality. Put most simply, like attracts like.
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Ever known someone who was absolutely miserable all the damn time? There has to be one on your Facebook feed. You know who I’m talking about. The one who is constantly complaining about all the horrible things that happen to them and can never seem to catch a break in life! It’s like they feed off the social media sympathy. They live for the vaguebook status. They constantly have some ailment or problem. If you are an empath, they are the most draining of all people to interact with because they have clearly, somewhere along the line, subconsciously chosen misery as their lot in life. And, even though they might say they want to feel better, you have to wonder deep down if they actually do, because you get the feeling that something inside of them, in some sick and twisted way, is being nurtured by all the attention they receive in response to their pathetic state. Classic Law of Attraction. This is how I first started to believe. I have several of these in my timeline. In fact, I call them Eeyores. One day it just hit me…if the Law of Attraction is true for misery, then the opposite must also be true. I’m not saying you have to believe it, but I do.
This is why I focus so much on choosing our thoughts and emotions in every situation. I believe the more good we project, the more will come to us. I’ve gotta say, I have been working this pretty consistently for several months and it’s not as easy to put into practice as it is to learn about. It takes so much practice to figure out how to even get to a place of awareness of my thoughts and emotions, then to learn how to recognize them as they are happening, and, finally, to figure out how choose differently when the thoughts and emotions are not productive and don’t align with my future vision of myself. It has been a rocky education, but a fun one! I have been secretly confiding with my closest inner circle, all of whom also believe, and guess what? We have seen ridiculous abundance and hundreds of miracles! I believe in it because it works. Not just for me, but for my friends and family too.
All of that sounds great! But I have to say, I do see a danger in learning the Law of Attraction lifestyle. The danger is that we ignore and hide our negative feelings and emotions. From what I understand, the whole point of this way of living is to have the most joyful, abundant life possible. And that only comes when we are finally in alignment with our most authentic self/inner being, which is the part of us (soul/spirit/etc) that is the truest and purest version of ourselves. That part of us has been hidden and ignored because we have grown up conditioned by our families, society, and every limiting belief this world has thrust upon us. So we have to re-train our minds to believe in more, in better, in infinite possibilities. Not just what we’ve seen in the past. Not just what we’ve seen others around us accomplish. It is a lifestyle with no limits or boundaries on what we can become and achieve and be in this world and in this one infinitesimal life we are given. I find it to be a very hopeful and optimistic way of life. And, let me tell you, when I am in alignment, I know without a shadow of a doubt that I can do anything on earth that I set my mind to doing.
But, what about when I have trouble choosing higher thoughts? I am an empath, a Cancer, an ISFJ, an optimist, and an Idealist. These descriptions might mean nothing to you, but they match my personality in ways you can’t imagine. I am an emotional being. My entire worldview and perception of reality is based in the emotions I feel and the emotions of others around me. To be this way and deny that there are times when the negativity overtakes me would be a lie. In fact, the reason I love meditation and journaling and affirmations and all the things I preach about in this blog is because they are all tools to help me go within, be still, come to terms with an avalanche of emotions, purge my emotions, and find a steady ground to move forward. This emotions-driven way of living could be why it’s so easy for me to buy into and learn Law of Attraction. But it could also be the reason it’s so difficult for me at times.
This past month has been one of the most excruciating months I’ve had to deal with in recent memory, in terms of outside circumstances bearing down on me. I am grateful for my optimistic nature, as it has pulled me through every obstacle up until now. I do believe what Gabrielle Bernstein says, “Obstacles are detours in the right direction.” Even as every single indicator of well-being around me is telling me that this situation is not OK and that I should just throw in the towel, somehow I still believe that the universe has my back. I truly believe that every day holds infinite possibilities and that miracles happen all the time – so frequently that they shouldn’t be called miracles, they should just be called regular old blessings. I believe in the abundance of the universe and I believe my life is abundant now. Not in some future, far-off place…right here and right in this moment. I also believe the best is yet to come and it’s literally around the corner and, if I wait patiently and trust, it is sure to come at the perfect time. I believe all these things with every fiber of my being. But, at the moment, my emotions are so heavy. And I have spent a lot of time crying and worrying and letting fear in…all the things you aren’t supposed to do if you’re a good believer in the Law of Attraction, right?
Well, I don’t think that statement is true. There isn’t some formula. It’s not a “think happy thoughts and you’ll get whatever you want” kind of Law. It’s an “align yourself with your most authentic version of yourself and then you will live the fullest expression of yourself that is possible”. Naturally, this version of myself is the one that has the most to offer to the world. The 100% authentic soul of Leah. Any other version of myself is a poser and, naturally, will struggle.
A popular affirmation in my spiritual circles is, “There is no need to suffer.” I had originally taken this to mean, “There is no need to be afraid and have negative emotions. So just ignore them and try to feel all zen about your life.” But, I think there is a deeper meaning to this affirmation. In spiritual terms, suffering happens when we aren’t in alignment with our inner being. I think it’s more fitting to say, “There is no need to struggle against what I am.”
If what I am is an emotional being, then it follows that I must let the emotions in and feel them. Denying them or covering them up would not be authentic to me. However, as an optimist, it is also not authentic to me to let depression swallow me whole because I believe in all the beautiful things and ideas I listed above. So, here I am, realizing all of this in an extremely difficult phase of life. And where does this leave me?
It leaves me grateful. I’m telling you…all paths lead back to gratitude! It is the secret power that makes life what it is meant to be! I’m grateful that I’ve seen this truth. I’m grateful that I can see myself as a whole, multi-dimensional person (the dark and the light, if you will). And I’m grateful that seeing myself in this way, from a kind of outside perspective, has helped me to see how exquisitely beautiful I am. What is more beautiful than a whole person? One who fully embraces all sides of themselves in an authentic way? One that can stand up under intense negative pressure from the outside world, but still hold up a beacon of the purest hope for the future? What is life if it’s not a perfect tapestry of joy and pain, suffering and victory, struggle and peace? The only way I’ll ever truly get to the incredible future I’ve envisioned is to know my truth and to live it fully.
Guess what? That part of me that felt so broken when I started this post feels like it is healing now. In exploring these difficult emotions, I have unknowingly managed to reorient my mindset. So, I have a new rule going forward. Bring on the flood of emotions. Let me sit with them, experience them, and process them. Even when it feels like a storm that won’t end, I know better. My faith is rooted in something a helluva lot more true and infinitely more powerful. Me.
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